---
It's funny the turn my life has taken; writing used to be one of the most important things to me. I used to stay up nights, with either notebook or computer in hand, sitting at my desk starring out into the world, writing whatever came to mind. It used to be about the process more than the words. In some ways, it still is, but I've replaced that process with the musical composition process. In the end, it's really the same pouring of consciousness and emotion onto a page. Only now, it's done in pencil and with only 7 letters -- and takes a lot longer for a lot less workable material. (But I guess that fits with my never-ending desire to make myself as uncomfortable as possible.)
I've lately been trying to put my finger on the moment when this all changed -- the moment that my life shifted from music to language and back to music again. I haven't been able to figure out anything even close to that, but I have been able to find specific days that changed my life...
Day one: Late 2000:
I don't remember the exact date, but it was a Wed. in late 2000...November or December. My piano teacher's old teacher had just died and he returned from the funeral and was nostalgic himself. I walked in and he just looked at me and said, "sit down and press record." (He had his students bring tape recorders and record the lesson because, smartly, he realized that not everything would stick and being able to listen to the lesson later in the week -- even if only once -- would help tremendously. Every time I go home, I dig up my old tapes and listen to a couple of them...I've come a long way as a musician, thankfully.) So I sat down and he started giving me a speech about "will" in music. He told me that "it" was all about making music your own and, what he called "will." He said that in the end, it didn't matter about notes, but the intention behind the notes and the emotion and feeling that goes into each one. He was giving me this speech because he said that he saw I was on the fence. Even though I was merely a high school Freshman, it was then that I had to make a decision about my life and whether I wanted music. He pointed out that one week, I would come in and be completely enthralled with the music and show that I wanted it for my entire life, and then the next I would come in and it was just something I did. Something I was good at, yes, and loved, but not something I wanted to DO.
Before he was done with his speech, I made the decision right then and there that I was going to dedicate my life -- at least until it didn't make any more sense -- to music. I haven't regretted that decision yet. I realize that for music to be my entire life, it will take AMAZING luck, along with hard work and talent. But since that speech, I have only grown more and more passionate about my music and more committed to my decision. That speech changed the course of my life. I credit that speech for why I'm where I am today.
---Day two coming in a few days.
No comments:
Post a Comment