The Days that Shaped Me -- day three

Day three: May 8, 2004:

It was my last Saturday of spending all day at New England Conservatory in and out of prep school classes and ensembles. I loved those Saturdays; I got to spend a day studying music exclusively, play with great musicians and friends -- one of which being Jeremy Udden, and explore great areas of Boston. I knew that area back and forth, including side-streets, alleys, and of course, cheap (and good) Thai restaurants. This day was a spectacular day in May, and like every other that year, I had a 2-hour break between my compositional styles and analysis class and my ensemble. Some days I would go to the library, some I would people-watch at the Prudential, some I would sit and people watch in restaurants or sitting on the sidewalk, and some I would just walk. (Of course, most I would walk to my used record store guy and check out his selection. I definitely spent at least $800 there in the 3 years I went to him.)

This was a day when I had no money and nowhere to be, so I just walked. It was my last walk in that area, so I was going to make the most of it. I walked very far and for quite a while, but at the end of my walk, I saw something that changed me: I saw a homeless man, trying to hide from public sight, with a small stuffed-animal in his pocket. Me, being the eternal six-year-old, immediately thought of my own teddy bear. I thought of how if I were to lose every worldly possession of mine, my teddy bear would stay with me. This man -- this smelly, disgusting, homeless man whose street-mates I would see every week and do my best to ignore -- had suddenly become human to me. (This prompted me to write one of my favorite pieces of writing, not because it's written well, but because of the emotion it still evokes in me. I brought this writing into work and my then manager, now mentor, Mark, read it. He looked at me and said, "how old are you, again?" "Just shy of 18-and-a-half." "You're unlike any 18-and-a-half year old I've ever met. Stay that way." If I think of it, I may post this piece on the blog in the future.) I felt completely helpless. I had no idea what to do or how I could change the world. I still hope that one day, I find a way to actually make a difference beyond the usual...taking my leftovers in restaurants and giving them to homeless men on the street, buying a coffee for someone cold and begging...

Maybe one day…