The key is how you fix them...

“Everyone makes mistakes. The key is how you fix them.”

These were among the first words of wisdom my first manager at Unos told me. It was my first night as a host, and someone ordered a Crispy Chicken Salad, and I gave him the salad and left the chicken on the kitchen window. As soon as I realized my mistake, I ran outside to see the car drive away. I then called Mark, the manager, and told him that someone was about to call and say they got a chicken salad with no chicken.

Mark responded by saying, “Well, when he calls, you’re the manager.” “What?” “Well, everyone makes mistakes. Let’s see how you fix this one!”

Turns out it was a test. I passed, for those of you wondering. I took down the customer’s address and had Mark write him out a coupon for a free entrée or entrée salad and send it to him. I actually saw the customer the next week, so I know that it was a successful fix.

But here’s what I love about Mark: Mark’s advice to me wasn’t just about the restaurant industry, it was about life. (Yes, I used his words of wisdom – not just these, but others, too – when it came to my future restaurant jobs making me someone managers loved to work with, but it was about everything.) Mark was going through a divorce as I was going through a breakup, and Mark and I would sit in the office after I was punched out and just talk.

“I’m telling you my life story for one reason,” he said to me on my last night of actually working for him. “I’ve gone through life watching the mistakes people have made before me and tried to avoid making them. I want you to see my mistakes – and I’ve made a lot – and try not to make some of them.”

Well, Mark, I’m here, right now, three years later (almost to the day), saying that I goofed. I made a mistake. I’ve made quite a few. And worse than that, I’ve let them get to me. They’ve gotten the better of me, and you’d be the first to look at me and say: ‘you’re better than this.’

And I am. So here I am, doing the first step: admitting that I’ve made mistakes. Quite a few. And here I am, also saying that I’m going to fix these mistakes. Because like you told me three years ago, everyone makes mistakes. It’s just time for me to fix these.

What you didn’t tell me is that some mistakes can’t be fixed. You forgot to warn me that when mistakes happen with other people, they need to let you fix it. You didn’t tell me how I can fix a mistake that someone doesn’t want fixed. You never told me that some mistakes can’t be fixed and I have to only do the best I can do for me.

Thankfully, I realize that now. And I realize that I’ve made some mistakes that someone isn’t letting me fix. So I’ll fix the ones I can fix. I’ll fix how I deal with it. I’ll fix how I respond to it. Because what you were really telling me isn’t that mistakes happen, fix them, you were telling me that bad stuff happens to everyone and it’s all about reacting to it positively. And I was too busy trying to fix my mistakes while other stuff was happening.

No more. I’m taking the advice Mark gave me, not the words you said, and I’m going to react differently. I’m moving on. I’m taking the consequences of what I’ve done, and I’m going to try my hardest not to do it again. Life is a game of actions and reactions. I’m going to take control of my reactions, finally.