Tears -- a poem of sorts, that may be deleted soon

The tears stream down my face.
I'm thinking of you. I shouldn't be, but I am.
I've always liked to make my life hard,
and now,
it's no different.

When life crumbles around me,
what do I do?
I could think of happy thought --
an end in sight
a new beginning around the corner
everything good in life
But instead,
I think of you
and cry
and cry
and cry

I was never supposed to love you.
We were wrong for each other
In every way
And we knew it, before we were ever we.
We were wrong
In every way
Except one.

We made each other happy.
And also
We loved each other.

The problem is
I still love you
I shouldn't
But I do
I can't
But I do
You won't love me back,
Ever
Never, you say
No matter what the world has in store, you won't love me again
But I do
I still love you
And I still think about you
And I still care about you
No matter how much you hurt me
Again
and again
and again
and again
and again
and i could go on
because every time i give you the chance
you hurt me more
and you insist on stepping on my heart
and you insist that while all i want is you to care
you never will

I've never been good at letting myself be comfortable
or happy
Instead,
I think of you,
And cry
and cry
and cry.

---

Let's pretend this post doesn't exist, okay? Monday will bring a new one -- a happier one -- one about the good things i've learned in life. About the lessons I've been taught. About what keeps me going, even when all I do is sit alone, awake, at 4 in the morning, crying.

I should have been asleep hours ago.
(And over her weeks ago.)

The funny thing: It should be ME telling HER to get out of MY life. She's never given me anything -- even that.

I hate that I let a girl get to me. Or anyone. But I guess I'm human -- even if she doesn't treat me as such.