Flashbacks

I'm home for a few days for Thanksgiving. It's less painful than usual, yet there have still beem a few awkward moments.

Some, shall we say, flashbacks. Nothing more than a moment or two, but flashbacks to Thanksgivings past and trips home of yesteryear.

Some good moments, some bad. All just flashes.

These moments make me realize that, while I'm more comfortable coming back here than ever before, it is also less home than ever. Perhaps that's why I'm more comfortable here -- I've managed to make it into a place I just go and not a home I should feel emotional connection to.

I mean, I, of course, feel emotional connection. This is my past. This is my childhood. And more importantly, this is the now of a majority of my family. I've gotten over hating here for me and replaced it with liking here for them.

I'm still not ready to even consider living here again, so I'm going to update my resume and start sending it out, but that's neither here nor there.

And I guess, in a weird way, so am I.