Bartending

I've done a lot of fun jobs in my relatively short life. I mean, I have been working since age 14, but 7.5 years of working is a relative short time compared to people who are, y'know, full-grown adults. But it has been exactly one third of my life!

Anyway...

The summer after my freshman year of college, I worked at a restaurant on Cape Cod called The Speakeasy. That same summer, I took a bartending course (and mixed a few drinks at the restaurant when the bartender was being his normal jackass self to me.)

I knew I needed to take a class when a patron of the restaurant ordered a V.O. and ginger, (a Canadian Whisky and ginger ale) and I had no idea what she ordered. I asked her to repeat her order and wrote down on my pad of paper: "Sounds like Veal." The bartender and I stood for 5 or 10 minutes at the bar looking at all the alcohol trying to figure it out.

Flash forward to bartending class.

It was me and six girls. (Fantastic, right?)

It was a 5-day class. Monday to Friday. Monday to Wednesday was learning drinks. Thursday, was practice for the test.

Practice consisted of each one of us playing bartender while the others ordered two "drinks" a piece. Drinks were, of course, just water with food-coloring, since alcohol is expensive and none of us were 21.

Keeping this in mind, remember, there's no reason to order one drink over another. The best thing to do is to order a drink that's common and would actually be required in day-to-day bartending experience.

I was playing bartender and Jen -- which may or may not be her name, I don't remember at this point -- ordered a Sloe Comfortable Screw Up Against the Wall.

Not a beat was missed before I said: "Can I get you anything to drink with that?"

Turns out Jen wasn't hitting on me, because she was unamused. She started listing the ingredients. I cut her off and told her it was a joke, handed her the "drink," and moved on to the next girl.

Mark, my manager from Unos and the man I consider my hospitality industry mentor responded when he heard the story: "Why am I not surprised that you put your foot in your mouth?!"

In case you're wondering, I scored 100 on the final test.