The bar scene

Some people are just good at picking up people at bars.

Okay -- political correctness killed that sentence.

What I wanted to say was: Some men are just good at picking up women at bars.I was then going to change it to: 'Some people...picking up women...' thinking that there are some women who are great at picking up women. But then I remembered that some men pick up other men, and hell, occasionally women pick up men at the bars!

But what I'm getting at here is that I am not one of these people, in any category. (I, personally, would like to pick up a woman, but I guess I'd be flattered if a man tried to pick me up...)

I've watched people (okay, specific person) talk to women in bars and I'm in awe. He does it with such ease and success. (Of course, I've heard this particular person referred to as 'Too smooth; you aren't supposed to realize how smooth a guy is until the next morning', but still...he actually talks to perfect strangers in bars!)

I'm to the point of total -- what's the opposite of smooth? Oh yeah -- awkwardness, that even my fantasies involve failure.

(Imagine: Me, sitting at a bar, scotch in hand, beautiful woman next to me.

"Excuse me," I'd say to her.
She'd look up, our eyes would meet, and she's say, "yes?"
Anxiously awaiting my next words, she would look even deeper into my eyes.
"Can you pass me that napkin?"
"Of course!"

And...scene.)

(Can you imagine how much better that scene would be if the WGA weren't on strike? I mean, my blog is not a union operation, but evidently my creativity has decided to strike in solidarity.)

Maybe I'm no good at the bar scene because unlike, well, everyone else on the bar scene, I don't get drunk. Maybe things that would usually be dumb are actually clever with enough alcohol. But I wouldn't know.

For now, I just get amusement out of watching the inebriated try and pick each other up...

And also try to play darts.

Nothing funnier than a drunk man with a pointy projectile!

Nothing...

(Or at least nothing until the WGA strike is over and I can come up with some new material.)