Pet Peeves

I have a number of pet peeves, as those close to me know. In fact, my roommate tonight told me that "this is why you can't be in a normal relationship" referring to one of my grammar-related peeves. I'm going to list some of them here and perhaps rant a bit about them.

-IM speak: I hate being referred to as 'u'. If you care enough about me to talk to me, am I NOT WORTH the TWO extra keystrokes that will take up a mere fraction of a second? (Note: I will make an exception for this rule for one person and one person alone. If you ask me if it's you, I'll tell you. But otherwise, assume that I want the other two keystrokes.)

-Less vs. Fewer: This is a strange one, really. A lot of people don't know the difference and when to use what. Less refers to quantity whereas fewer is a number. (I have written 12 fewer blog posts than Tom thus far this month, but I have less time to write than he does since I have homework and he does not.) If you're ever confused, pull out The Elements of Style and check with Strunk and White. More so than this error is the repetition of this error. It's easy to learn, so why I had to correct my ex-girlfriend on a thrice-weekly basis is beyond me.

-Objective vs. Subjective pronouns: I've gotten better about not correcting people when they speak incorrectly, but I have to bite my tongue REALLY HARD when "My mom took Jimmy and I to lunch" comes out of someone's mouth.

-When people use big words to sound smart and don't know the right way to pronounce them, and to make things worse, other people who know the word only from reading it continue to disseminate the improper pronunciation. (Of course, I admit that when this happens, I usually keep my mouth shut because I'm usually the only one sure of the pronunciation but everyone else has said the wrong one, so I keep my mouth shut for fear that I am, in fact, the one in the wrong and go home and check answers.com which has someone reading the word (for free, whereas dictionary.com that is a paid service). (Note to nobody, since I didn't say anything, I was right about the pronunciation of hegemony and hegemonic in class the other day when everyone else said it wrong and I kept my mouth shut...))

-When toilet paper is on the wrong way. (The flap should be in the front, people!)

-When someone prefaces what they're going to say by identifying themselves. "As a suburban Jew," "As a black woman," "As someone from 2007 looking back at Alexis de Tocquville's work"...we know who you are already, especially if you're identifying yourself as something we so clearly see, like giving yourself a period in which you live, a race, a gender, or a location.

-The phrase 'vis a vis'. Don't know why. Just never liked it.

-The fact that my best friend is going to read this and say, "You're ridiculous. Get over it."

So, Ilana, I may be ridiculous, but I most certainly will NOT get over it. I'll just learn to bite my tongue fewer times. (And no, I don't mean less!)