Go for the fries!

I love being in New York City. More specifically, I love being in Manhattan. And more specifically yet, I love being 3 blocks away from a 24-hour diner.

I love being able to have a hankering for a sandwich and a disdain towards doing dishes at 1 in the morning and be able to be accommodated. And I love that, in spite of the fact that I have not cooked an omelette that looks as good as it tastes in, oh, six years, I can go out and get while taking a break from homework. And I can get it with potatoes and toast, for barely over 5 bucks. (Less in my old neighborhood, and slightly more here...but the portion here is bigger and the potatoes are vastly superior...)

And as much as New York City is a 24-hour world, it isn't 24-hours for, well, normal people. I've rarely had a post-midnight meal (on a weekday) without some kind of unusual experience or encounter.

A few weeks ago, I went in to my local 24-hour dinner to get some breakfast, and there were two policemen. There was a woman eating with her boyfriend right across the isle from the cashier. The police were waiting to pay as the woman lectured one of the men about his eating habits.

"Y'know," she said, "you should take care of yourself better. Have a turkey burger and a sweet potato instead of the hamburger and fries. Your body will thank you."

The office wanted very little to do with this woman. His partner was laughing the hole time, more as the officer's reactions than the woman herself, and the employees and i were sitting back, watching, bemused, as well.

After a long lecture, the officer reacted quickly and matter-of-factly. "Do you think that the turkey burger and the sweet potato will really offset the fact that I smoke 2 packs a day?"

From behind, I just yelled, "Go for the fries!!!" The woman and the officer ignored me. His partner laughed and gave me a look like a parent-figure both amused by the comment and upset that I opened my mouth. I took my change and left -- quickly -- though I wanted to see what happened next.

In the sit-com in my brain, they had a karate duel to the death. (Okay -- turns out the writers of my fantasies are on strike, too...) But I'm sure it was something much less interesting. Perhaps payment and a wish of "have a nice night, ma'am." But that's just not funny.

Which leads me to my point:

It's 1:30 am...I'm going to post this and go get breakfast!